Dumb-Ass of the Week Award

That would be me. Dumb-ass and runner up. Not much room in my life for competition in this category.

Here is how it started:

Birthday party season is gearing up and Colson, who is almost nine, has some trepidation around it because he can’t eat wheat and birthday cake (see Wheat/Gluten, Autoimmune, the Brain and Cancer). This year was going to be tough for him – usually I can just gloss over the cake issue and give him an organic, dark chocolate bar, but not this year. (Side note: funny thing, humans…birth rates are higher in the first half of the year versus the second half (lots of interesting studies posted on the net about this)). So what was I to do with the birthday season here? Find an alternative cake that wasn’t coconut flour, as Colson doesn’t like coconut flour cakes, or any nut flour baked good for that matter.   

My friend Shannan sent me a recipe for a navy bean chocolate cake and she raved about it. Navy beans are on the GAPS diet because they have relatively low starch, so I thought I would give it a try. I dutifully soaked my beans and cooked them. Then I made the cake and it was excellent (see Healthy Chocolate Cake With a Secret). My guys loved it. The neighbors pounded it (they need to get off of wheat so I bring them alternatives – needless to say it vanished quickly).

Here is dumb-ass point one: Chocolate prevents me from sleeping and I had a healthy slice of chocolate cake (see Chocolate and Sleep (or Lack of)).

Dumb-ass point two: I have been having a hard time sleeping (see $#^% and Great Oriental Doc Visit), and I just got it under control and was rebounding strongly. I can complete seven chin-ups anticipating ten soon. Now I am temporarily derailed again. Dang!

Dumb-ass point three: I quickly fell asleep last night at 10 and woke up at 12:30 a.m., never to fall back asleep. I felt like total crap today. I KNOW BETTER THAN TO EAT THIS STUFF! Seriously, WTF? I am an overeducated dumbass – at least this week (ok, other weeks too). I look back at my blog and see that I post the same things over and over and do the same stupid stuff periodically. The way I felt today was not worth a really delicious chocolate navy bean cake with, loud gasp, butter cream frosting.

Oh no, not sugar! I used ½ cup of maple syrup in the cake and then I moved on to the frosting. That is dumb-ass point four – knowingly mutating my DNA temporarily and crashing my immune system while I am depleted (or any other time for that matter). I explained to my neighbors that I was doing the same to them when I gave them the cake and they (and I) still ate it joyfully.

So, how is this dumb-ass drama going to turn out? I am sure I am going to do more dumb-ass things. As a matter of fact, I just yelled across the house just now, asking how “dumb-a” is punctuated. Ryan said, “What’s dumb a?” and Colson said, “You know, dumb-ass.” DAMN! 

Comments

[Maury]

7 chin ups! that is awesome! I am truly impressed. There is no way I think you are a dumb-a...just human! c'mon, we have been conditioned to eat a whole lot of total garbage. You don't eat garbage. You eat real food treats. Too bad they don't help your body, but really, most of what you eat, is so good for you. So great you have your family on board. My husband is still at the stage where he is comparing the food we eat to what the rest of the world eats, and says we are doing really well. Unfortunately, I don't want to be doing pretty good compared to a really bad "diet" because that isn't really good at all...it is still pretty bad. Comparisons such as these just don't work!